Midget Porn t-shirt

Description

Look at your buddy. He’s been stuck at 5’7″ since the eighth grade. He’s wearing boots with three-inch heels just to look the barista in the eye. He’s got that angry little energy—that Napoleon thing—where he’s trying to fight every guy at the bar who’s over six feet tall just to prove he’s a “big man.”

You hand him this shirt.

It’s got the “Midget Wrestling” logo on it, which is the ultimate disrespect. You’re basically telling him, “Hey man, I know you’re struggling to reach the top shelf, so I figured I’d get you a uniform for your natural weight class.” You’re acknowledging that he’s not a contender in the heavyweights; he’s the main event at a carnival.

It’s a “vintage” look, which is perfect because it reminds him of a time when people like him were relegated to side-shows and being tossed across bars for sport. You’re giving him a career path. You’re saying, “If the corporate ladder is too tall for you to climb, maybe you can just get slammed onto a mat for twenty bucks and a beer.”

It’s high-level psychological bullying. Every time he puts this on, he has to accept that he’s the “little engine that couldn’t.” It’s a tragedy in heather gray. You’re caring for his ego by absolutely obliterating it in public. It’s the perfect “Short King” coronation.