$5.99
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Description
Look at your buddy. His face is currently losing the war against gravity. He’s got that “melting candle” look going on where his jawline has just surrendered and merged with his neck. He’s one bad sandwich away from having a chin that starts at his chest. He looks like he’s permanently wearing a scarf made of his own skin.
You hand him this.
It’s a “V-Line Lifting” strap. It’s basically a jockstrap for your face. You’re handing him this and saying, “Hey man, I noticed your head is slowly sliding off your shoulders, so I got you some scaffolding.” You’re telling him he’s reached the point where he needs mechanical assistance just to keep his mouth closed.
It’s “reusable and breathable,” which is great, because he’s going to be wearing it for the rest of his life if he wants to avoid looking like a Shar-Pei. You’re giving him a muzzle that says, “I’ve given up on the gym, so I’m trying to Velcro my way back to 2015.” It’s the ultimate “I see your double chin” gift.
Every time he straps this thing on and pulls it tight, he has to look in the mirror and realize he’s basically a hostage in his own home. He looks like he’s about to be dropped into a silent movie as a secondary villain. It’s an admission of total biological defeat, and it’s the funniest thing you can force a man to wear while he’s watching the game.
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