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Would you buy a car with a duff engine? Before you sign the lease, check the engine. Demand a sample. Put it on the slide. If they are swimming in circles or just floating there like dead fish, walk away. Don't let him blame 'stress.' Science doesn't lie. Inspect the goods before you commit to the manufacturer.
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Bitches love scented candles, what they don't love is the odor of shit. At first, this gift will come off as a kind gesture, the smell of apple pie will entice them to light it. By the time the apple pie scent has disappeared, hopefully you have too – leaving them to bask in the glorious smell of excrement.
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Are you tired of soaking up piss stains with your ass? Would you prefer not to stand in droplets of urine while going to the toilet? It sounds like you may know someone who suffers from dribble dick. The Toddler Pissing Target helps train those low IQ simpletons that can't seem to keep their piss in the bowl.
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Out of stockLorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Fusce venenatis a felis sed laoreet. Nulla sit amet urna risus. Vivamus congue ex a elit tincidunt dignissim. Praesent tempus feugiat aliquam. Duis tincidunt velit justo, ac convallis nunc tempor id. In at pulvinar sem. Mauris sed ligula nibh. Integer ultrices euismod egestas. Donec dolor purus, malesuada sit amet convallis nec, consequat eu ligula. Fusce euismod volutpat quam, ut mattis ex mattis quis.
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This is... this is tough. We all have that one friend, right? The guy who’s just... out there in the wilderness. No backup. No squad. Just him and a hot plate, staring at the wall. It’s dark. It is bleak. You walk into his apartment and it smells like... old milk and despair. He’s eating cereal out of a cup because he hasn't done dishes in three weeks. He’s living like a raccoon that got trapped in a pantry. So you get him this. You hand him this book and you look him in the eye and you say, 'Hey man. It’s over. The dream is dead. No one is coming. Learn to make a frittata before you get scurvy.' It’s not even cooking, really. It’s tactical fueling. It’s about efficiency. Why make a lasagna for twelve when you’re the only one eating it? You’re just gonna be eating cold lasagna for six days straight, crying in your underwear watching WWII documentaries. This book stops that. It teaches you how to make exactly enough food for one sad man to survive the night without hating himself. It’s a kindness, really. But yeah... don't expect a thank you card. He’s probably too busy weeping into his single-serving stir-fry.
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Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Fusce venenatis a felis sed laoreet. Nulla sit amet urna risus. Vivamus congue ex a elit tincidunt dignissim. Praesent tempus feugiat aliquam. Duis tincidunt velit justo, ac convallis nunc tempor id. In at pulvinar sem. Mauris sed ligula nibh. Integer ultrices euismod egestas. Donec dolor purus, malesuada sit amet convallis nec, consequat eu ligula. Fusce euismod volutpat quam, ut mattis ex mattis quis.
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Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Fusce venenatis a felis sed laoreet. Nulla sit amet urna risus. Vivamus congue ex a elit tincidunt dignissim. Praesent tempus feugiat aliquam. Duis tincidunt velit justo, ac convallis nunc tempor id. In at pulvinar sem. Mauris sed ligula nibh. Integer ultrices euismod egestas. Donec dolor purus, malesuada sit amet convallis nec, consequat eu ligula. Fusce euismod volutpat quam, ut mattis ex mattis quis.
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The next time you have the urge for a funny prank or if you just need to get the party started, reach for a bottle of Liquid Ass Simple application instructions are printed onto the bottle Highly concentrated, super-horrible smelling fart spray. Smells like ass; only worse 30 milliliter (1 fluid ounce) size enough for many room-evacuating emissions Looking for funny gag gift. Get everybody laughing with the unique gift of Liquid Ass
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Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Fusce venenatis a felis sed laoreet. Nulla sit amet urna risus. Vivamus congue ex a elit tincidunt dignissim. Praesent tempus feugiat aliquam. Duis tincidunt velit justo, ac convallis nunc tempor id. In at pulvinar sem. Mauris sed ligula nibh. Integer ultrices euismod egestas. Donec dolor purus, malesuada sit amet convallis nec, consequat eu ligula. Fusce euismod volutpat quam, ut mattis ex mattis quis.
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Would you buy a car with a duff engine? Before you sign the lease, check the engine. Demand a sample. Put it on the slide. If they are swimming in circles or just floating there like dead fish, walk away. Don't let him blame 'stress.' Science doesn't lie. Inspect the goods before you commit to the manufacturer.
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Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Fusce venenatis a felis sed laoreet. Nulla sit amet urna risus. Vivamus congue ex a elit tincidunt dignissim. Praesent tempus feugiat aliquam. Duis tincidunt velit justo, ac convallis nunc tempor id. In at pulvinar sem. Mauris sed ligula nibh. Integer ultrices euismod egestas. Donec dolor purus, malesuada sit amet convallis nec, consequat eu ligula. Fusce euismod volutpat quam, ut mattis ex mattis quis.
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Out of stockWe all know the guy. He’s the one who rounds his height up to 6-foot on Hinge when he’s a breezy 5’9” in boots. He drives a truck with a six-inch lift kit that has absolutely never touched actual mud. His entire existence is built on aggressively overstating his qualifications. He talks a massive game at the bar, but the logistics of actually backing it up terrify him. So you hand him this. You are giving him a literal prosthetic ego. You are sliding an 8-inch rubber sleeve across the table and saying, "Hey man, I know you’ve been padding your resume for the last decade, so I got you some structural reinforcement to help you survive the audit." It is the ultimate act of physical catfishing. Imagine the absolute panic of the reveal. He’s strapping himself into a silicone mecha-suit just to feel like he belongs in the major leagues. It’s not an accessory; it’s a wearable zoning violation. You are funding his delusion of grandeur in the most humiliating way possible. The best part is the sheer maintenance of the lie. If he actually deploys this thing, he can never, ever take it off. He has to commit to the bit for the rest of the relationship. Every time he hides this monstrous rubber tube in his sock drawer, he has to sit on the edge of his bed and confront the massive, undeniable void between the man he pretends to be and the reality of his own factory settings.
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Out of stockWe all know the guy. You look over at him while he’s watching a movie or waiting in a lobby on Xbox, and his jaw is just completely unhinged. He’s just sitting there, staring into the middle distance, mouth wide open like a pelican waiting for a fish. He is aggressively mouth-breathing. He looks like a guy who just saw a magic trick and hasn't recovered. You hand him this. You are giving him a structural intervention. You are looking him dead in the eye and saying, "Hey man, your default resting state is upsetting the ecosystem of the living room. We need to close the hatch." It’s an "Anti-Mouth Structure" corrector. You’re basically forcing his biology to evolve past the Stone Age. It is the ultimate "Fix Your Face" gift. You are telling him that his body fundamentally doesn't know how to operate on standby mode, so he requires external scaffolding just to breathe like a civilized human being. Every night, he has to strap this torture device to his head like he’s prepping for a deep-sea dive, just to stop himself from drooling on his own pillows. It’s a complete submission to his own genetic flaws.
